I have been seeing a therapist for a few months to help me through the end of Dennis' life. Today I arrived with my own box of tissues and she knew something was big. I told her Dennis had died this past weekend and she had her arms around me before I even had a chance to catch my breath.

After I told her about the last days of his life I started talking about what I was doing to move ahead. It was a cathartic visit.

When I returned home I had a message from Janet, another caregiver whose husband died last year of the very same disease that took away my soulmate. She told me she had done the very same thing I was doing - getting rid of the medical equipment.

The call was reassuring. I was doing what other carers have done before me - donating unneeded equipment to some place that really needs the stuff. It's not about altruism, but more about clearing the home of reminders of how sick our partners had become.

I want to remember all of Dennis, but I don't need the equipment to remind me. I will never forget the last six months we spent traveling, recovering from travel and planning the next trip. But I don't.care to think everyday how we needed the Hoyer Lift to pick him up off the floor when he fell out of bed.

I am not ready to tackle anything else, but it will be nice when the wheel chair, electric chair, walker, bedside table and Hoyer Lift are out of my home and into some persons home that will use them.

Ann